It's been two weeks!!

It has been the best and hardest two weeks I've had in a long time. I'll start with the hard stuff. When Titan got home we had to take him the next day to get his heel pricked to check his Billi Rubin levels (also know as Jaundice if it gets to high) well we got the call saying his levels were to high and he would have to be on a Billi bed. It looks like a tanning bed. Before I had my own baby I didn't think it was a big deal to have the baby on a tanning bed for a few days, but let me tell you it stressed me out to no end. I called my sister in law crying her little girl that is just 18 days older than Titan had to be on the bed for three days so she understood. Not only could I not hold him, the only time he could be off the lights was to eat. This became frustrating because we were not very good at nursing at the time and any time I kept him off the bed I felt guilty thinking he needed to be on the bed so he would get better. The same day we got the bed I found out that he had lost 10 ounces since birth and my doctor wanted me to supplement with formula so I felt like I wasn't do a very good job as a mom. I also think the emotions of just having a baby made me a little crazy.

The best stuff is Titan only had to be on the bed for 48 hours. We have been able to get better at nursing and hope to keep improving. He has gotten back to birth weight and a little more he was 6lb11 oz on Friday so we hope to keep the weight gain up. I love being able to stay home with him. It is amazing how much I can love this little guy!!Too bad I will have to go back to work. That stresses me out having to balance Brady's work schedule with mine...wish us luck but I know people do it all the time so I'm sure it will work out. As for sleep he is all over the place and wakes up anywhere from an hour and a half to four hours at night but its completely random.